For the last decade my involvement in personal training, gyms, and bodybuilding has baffled many members of society and the fitness community alike. " how the fuck did that guy get into this gym?" "Does that guy work here?" "Does he even know what he's doing?!" I know guys, as strange as it may seem to many people there is actually an explanation. The reason I got into working out was actually my parents, yes. My parents were fucking health freaks who met at a gym and when they had me they apparently decided to try turn me into the healthiest person alive.
They took me into golds gym when I was just a baby to get blessings from the bodybuilders there. I remember my dad was holding me wrapped in my blanket, when a 6'5" 280lb bodybuilder named Big Tony came up to us and told my dad, " Regan, this kid's got good genetics for bodybuild." I was 6months old at the time but I remember my father was overjoyed to hear this.
At the age of 5 my mom put me on a strict diet of chicken, fish, eggwhites, milk, rice, and broccoli. My parents wanted me to be lean year round and only on special occasions they would allow me to eat red meat. junk food was out of the question. I began playing soccer at the age of 6, but it wasn't until I turned 12 that I began my bodybuilding training. First it was just light dumbbells and bodyweight stuff. But the day I turned 13 my father got me a membership at golds gym "the mecca of mountain view." It was at this gym where I began my bodybuilding studies. I would read books such as "Arnold's Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding" and "Hardcore bodybuilding" by Robert Kennady. There were a lot of bodybuilders at golds, and when I first started training there I aspired to look like them. Little did I know at the time these guys were juiced out of their minds. Ha I mean you know every young kid wants to believe that Arnold never took steroids and that their favorite professional athlete never cheated.
Anyways over the next several years I trained my ass off, slowly building my physique. Sometimes my workout plans were not as successful as I had hoped and I would hit a plateau for many months at a time, I mean fuck I didn't know Everything. I kept going and learning more and more. By the time I was a sophomore in high school I was certainly one of the more muscular kids around. My friends would often come up to me and ask me to flex my biceps, I of course would oblige them. I continued to lift throughout high school and naturally I made gains. Nutrition was one of the last things I really learned about because I thought physical training was the only important aspect of bodybuilding. Yes I was hard headed.
When I got out of high school I really wasn't sure what to do, and I honestly didn't want to become a personal trainer. I had known trainers at golds and 24hr fitness, most of them were so fucking cheesy and out of shape. I knew they were doing it for work, but most of these guys looked fucking horrible. They were fat, weak, sloppy, and cocky. I couldn't believe people paid these guys to give them fitness advice and have them train them. It sickened me. I just wanted to know the truth about what really worked for fat loss and muscle gain.
So when I started at community college I began to take classes on kinesiology, nutrition, science, and drugs. I knew that if I read everything about the human body and understood training and chemical processes I would absolutely know, at the the very least, one of the best approaches to fat loss and muscle gain. And the result of all this was that I learned how the human body loses fat and gains muscle! What a shocker! God damn, who would have thought actually knowing what works would actually lead you to knowing what works. Strange. "Oh shit, guys, guys! Brandon's telling the truth agaain! I'm telling my fitness manager!" Yeah you better tell him.
Fast forward to when I decided to drop out of school. My parents were like "Brandon you better get a fucking job!" And I was like, " damn I guess I have to get a job.." and my mom was like, " son why don't you become a personal trainer?" And then I was like," fuuck, what other choice do I have?.." So it was settled, I got certified and became a personal trainer, yeah that's basically how it happened. So there it is, all you whining bitches getting mad because I work at a gym and know more than you, just be mad at my parents first. Don't come up to me with that fucking bullshit you give me, when you look like a fucking turd on wheels. At least look good before you do that.
No comments:
Post a Comment